Friday, November 13, 2015

"It Wasn't Meant to Be"

This post may offend some, the truth often does.

How many times have you had a business deal fall apart, an inter-personal relationship go kaput, or some other barrier cause your plans to go up in smoke? Now, how many times did you say to yourself, or someone involved say, well "it just wasn't meant to be".

I bet there isn't a soul reading this (including myself) that at one time or another hasn't used this excuse to explain away failure.

Let me be blunt, there is NO SUCH THING as "meant to be". There wasn't some God, or Angel, or Fairy, or Nymph, or Spirit Animal guiding you through that deal, that relationship, and then when the shit hit the fan decided to let it go splat! 

The expression "wasn't meant to be" is simply a human way of saying "I don't know what happened, don't want to look, don't want to take any responsibility for it so I'll park it at the feet of (pick your deity)".

Probably the greatest weakness I find in myself, and in others, is the unwillingness to accept full responsibility for a situation. It's easy to blame the other guy, blame the market, blame the buyer, blame the seller, blame your parents, blame anything but one's own action or inaction. 

It's not easy to operate from the viewpoint of  "I am responsible". So when things go wrong the first place you look is at yourself. Not to assign blame, but simply admit one was and still is Cause.

And therein lies the rub. The human computation that "responsibility" means "blame". It doesn't. Responsibility means Cause. One is always cause, no matter what is happening (even if one can't readily see it or identify it).

"It wasn't meant to be" is an excuse for failing, a justification to explain away why something didn't go right. It's lazy. It's naive, and most importantly it's factually FALSE. There is always a reason (or reasons) why something didn't go right. Nothing just "happens".

We make our own Fate!